Take Heart: A Conversation in Poetry: Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man

Edited and introduced by Wesley McNair, Maine Poet Laureate

Today’s favorite poem from an earlier column was selected by Eddie Meisner of Bangor, who writes, “My best friend wed a UPS man in 1971, and they are married still.” Eddie adds that when he read this poem in Take Heart, he immediately “cut it out and sent them a copy.”

Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man by Alice N. Persons

you bring me all the things I order
are never in a bad mood
always have a jaunty wave as you drive away
look good in your brown shorts
we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship
you’re like a cute boyfriend with great legs
who always brings the perfect present
(why, it’s just what I’ve always wanted!)
and then is considerate enough to go away
oh, UPS Man, let’s hop in your clean brown truck and elope!
ditch your job, I’ll ditch mine
let’s hit the road for Brownsville
and tempt each other
with all the luscious brown foods—
roast beef, dark chocolate,
brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies
I’ll make you my mama’s bourbon pecan pie
we’ll give all the packages to kind looking strangers
live in a cozy wood cabin
with a brown dog or two
and a black and brown tabby
I’m serious, UPS Man. Let’s do it.
Where do I sign?

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Take Heart: A Conversation in Poetry is produced in collaboration with the Maine Writers & Publishers Alliance. Poem copyright © 2007 Alice N. Persons. Reprinted from Don’t Be A Stranger, Sheltering Pines Press, 2007, by permission of Alice N. Persons. Please note that the column is no longer accepting submissions; comments about it may be directed to special consultant to the poet laureate, Gibson Fay-LeBlanc, at mainepoetlaureate@gmail.com or 207-228-8263. Take Heart: More Poems from Maine, a brand new anthology collecting the final two and a half years of this column, will be available late this year from Down East Books.